Just One
It's ironic that my last post was about getting back to normal. I think I had forgotten that life as a military family isn't really ever normal.
This past weekend Viv had a little breakdown. Poor, sweet girl. She had been holding herself together so well since we moved here that I never thought she was feeling down. I've always said that Viv is our "I'm just happy to be alive" kid. She's so easy going and go-with-flow. She's never complained about being dragged around to her brothers' games and schools and tours and activities. She's always done those things with a smile and an easy-going attitude. She's always seemed to make friends easily and get involved with activities at the drop of a hat. I'm just now realizing I've been taking all of that for granted.
On Saturday she and I were hanging out in the water and just talking about everyday things. She got a little quiet and said to me, "can I talk to you about something". Ugh. I am so thankful that my kids talk to me about things but that doesn't mean I don't have to brace myself for what's to come. Viv told me that this move hasn't been easy for her and that she really misses having a group of best friends around her. Of course, my first inclination was to think someone's being mean to her at school and I'm going to have to hunt them down. Well, no. She assured me that no one was mean at school; that she actually really loves her school. What's been bothering her has been that she isn't the "popular kid" and she isn't the "cool kid" and she doesn't have people hanging on her every word. She has one very close friend (also a new girl) but with everyone else, she said that she sometimes feels "invisible". She said she'd follow Matt and I anywhere, but that today, this assignment, is hard for her.
I'll tell you, hearing that felt like a dagger to my mom heart. This is the life we've chosen for her - the life of the new kid and sometimes the weight of that feels unbearably heavy.
We talked more about things "teenager" and how there's always going to be someone who Viv thinks is smarter, prettier, more popular. You name it. There will always be that person. We talked about how it's not the number of friends you have, but what those friends mean to you and give to you and get from you. And how sometimes, you just need one.
This past weekend Viv had a little breakdown. Poor, sweet girl. She had been holding herself together so well since we moved here that I never thought she was feeling down. I've always said that Viv is our "I'm just happy to be alive" kid. She's so easy going and go-with-flow. She's never complained about being dragged around to her brothers' games and schools and tours and activities. She's always done those things with a smile and an easy-going attitude. She's always seemed to make friends easily and get involved with activities at the drop of a hat. I'm just now realizing I've been taking all of that for granted.
On Saturday she and I were hanging out in the water and just talking about everyday things. She got a little quiet and said to me, "can I talk to you about something". Ugh. I am so thankful that my kids talk to me about things but that doesn't mean I don't have to brace myself for what's to come. Viv told me that this move hasn't been easy for her and that she really misses having a group of best friends around her. Of course, my first inclination was to think someone's being mean to her at school and I'm going to have to hunt them down. Well, no. She assured me that no one was mean at school; that she actually really loves her school. What's been bothering her has been that she isn't the "popular kid" and she isn't the "cool kid" and she doesn't have people hanging on her every word. She has one very close friend (also a new girl) but with everyone else, she said that she sometimes feels "invisible". She said she'd follow Matt and I anywhere, but that today, this assignment, is hard for her.
I'll tell you, hearing that felt like a dagger to my mom heart. This is the life we've chosen for her - the life of the new kid and sometimes the weight of that feels unbearably heavy.
We talked more about things "teenager" and how there's always going to be someone who Viv thinks is smarter, prettier, more popular. You name it. There will always be that person. We talked about how it's not the number of friends you have, but what those friends mean to you and give to you and get from you. And how sometimes, you just need one.
Vivian and K...
the new, and very sweet, kids
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